


Promiscuity Does Not Ruin the Upholstery

by Emppuko, Owaya1, TheHiddenOne (narikopathfinder)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Chair AU, Chair Bondage, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, M/M, Tassels, Whipping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 05:48:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emppuko/pseuds/Emppuko, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owaya1/pseuds/Owaya1, https://archiveofourown.org/users/narikopathfinder/pseuds/TheHiddenOne
Summary: Phichit is in need of a wedding gift for his favorite couple, and what better way to find one than at an auction? The chair might be second hand, and the auction might have been held at a strip club but it’s newly furnished, and really, what could possibly go wrong?





	Promiscuity Does Not Ruin the Upholstery

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I'll Chairish You Always](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10956372) by [dianna44](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dianna44/pseuds/dianna44). 



> Hello, Hello this time I and Emppuko return to give you part 3 of this Smutty Chair AU. We have been able to lure a new collab partner into our web. Excellent at puns and comedy, I never would have been able to write this without them. 
> 
> It has come to my attention...that this chair au is more popular than I realised. I hope we are able to meet the expectations of our readers. Have fun and do hold onto your seat you might fall off while trying to read.

“Going once, going twice. Sold! to the gentleman in the colourful sweater!” The auctioneer let his small wooden hammer fall decisively. The gathered crowd applauded politely for the young gentleman with black hair and dark shimmering eyes.

“I just bought a very expensive chair.” Phichit told the guy standing beside him happily, then paused,  “Um, do you know if they ship to Japan?” 

The elderly fellow standing beside him turned to smile wryly at the younger man and he couldn't help but chuckle.

“You might need to speak to the auctioneer about that.” 

Phichit gave a cheerful grin in thanks and decided to have a chat with the auctioneer. Once the auction came to a close. Phichit did seek out the aged auctioneer as soon as he was available. 

 

“Excuse me, but would there be a way for you to help me get this chair shipped to Japan?” The auctioneer in question easily shook his head in denial. 

They did not, in fact, ship to Japan. This was very frustrating.

This meant that Phichit had to drag the chair to Japan himself. It meant that he had to arrange for the airline to ship it for him, and it meant that he had to share his very cramped hotel room with it for a full four days. 

  
  


The chair stared accusingly at Phichit from across the room.

*How dare that human buy me and then treat me in a such manner! I just had new leather furnished… and they even polished my decor,* the elegant red leathery chair huffed lightly, feeling very much insulted by this upstart of a young man. *My wood hasn’t been this smooth for half a decade.*

Phichit shifted uncomfortably on his perch on the bed. He felt he should offer the chair some sort of an apology but he couldn’t quite reconcile the notion with any actual logic. He had the sense that he was being a bad host in some way. 

The chair had quite the past of being the centre of attention in more elegant homes. And now it had been reduced to being bought by such a peculiar human.

*I’ll show that human how much of an exceptional chair I can be!*

“This is ridiculous,” Phichit declared feeling stupid. He got to his feet, marched over to the chair and sat down resolutely. The seat was wide, — wide enough to fit two people, if the two people in question were both very fit athletes and willing to sit very close. Perfect for a pair of newlywed skaters to be sure. The seat bulged smartly under his thighs. Phichit found himself wondering how the leather would feel against his skin.

In a brilliant moment of impulsiveness, Phichit stripped off his pants and boxers and sat down, not feeling overly concerned by the fact that the chair was meant as a gift. The Chair had, he reasoned, been auctioned off at a strip club by a man in his forties who wanted to send his favorite stripper to college. It was only fitting then, Pichit thought, that he break it in a little.

Phichit didn't have to wonder that for long since he started to feel movement beneath his arse.

"What the...?" Phichit questioned trying to stand up. 

He couldn’t. 

His movements were restricted by starch leather binds which had somehow magically appeared and snaked around his torso, strapping him in.

"Were these straps here before? Since when did...? I- I didn't see these before! Aah!-" Phichit yelped. He could feel a small bulge forming close to his exit.

The red leather straps became seemingly more secure around Phichit’s waist, and the Thai’s legs suddenly felt pulled more firmly against the leathery, red wooden legs. A combination of wood and leather binds encircled the younger man’s ankles.The bulge happily pressed against the exposed arsehole, one curl of the particular extension pushed around the rimmed muscles.

*I’ll show this upstart of a human what kind of chair I am,* the chair crackled.

“Oh!” Phichit gasped and then giggled. 

“I’m being molested by a chair,” he told the room breathlessly and then had to cut his giggles short as the leather became slick beneath him. His thighs trembled in their restraints and he had to swallow down a moan. 

“You are such a tease,” he told the chair once he regained enough control over his lungs to talk again.The chair in question vibrated oddly against the exposed skin of the flustered human and its apparent new owner. The slick leather probed up against the arsehole available to be explored.

*I certainly heard that human enjoying himself earlier,* the chair thought smugly, while a twist and curl over the wriggling muscles tried to protest just a little. A stray tassel rubbed slow circles against his balls and the base of his cock, easily applying a nudging pressure against those soft balls, and the tassel ropes tightening gently around the base of the human’s cock.

“Yes,” Phichit moaned, “Yes, I am definitely into that.” The ropes tightened just slightly more in response. The chair preened at the response from the human, and one of the chair’s back tassels stretched lazily from the lower half of the seat. It curved into an s-shape and slapped the lower back of the human’s sensitive skin. 

Phichit let out a soft moan of surprise. His toes curled with pleasure. The elongated tassel took the liberty of caressing along the human’s chin. Trailing its golden threads along tanned cheeks, faintly brushing against the human’s open mouth. Thin silk threads slipped up to curl teasingly over Phichit’s eyes, suggesting at a blindfold, only to slip back down and probe at his mouth. The tassel tasted like raspberry lip gloss and the sweet tang of sweat and strangely… a little like silk tassels. 

A sultry moan slipped from Phichit’s mouth, his body quivering in anticipation of what might sprout out of the chair next. The chair was pleased with the human’s response to its playful taste of refined teasing. 

*Now then little human,* the chair absently pondered as its leathery cock bulged and grew thicker within a few quick thrusts against the rimmed entrance. Burgundy leather coiled to the sides to reveal a tip slithered with what looked to be pre cum. If one were to make a closer inspection, the silk would have been revealed to be the combined bodily fluids of many previous owners, not least of which would prove to be ass sweat and diluted cum. 

The burgundy clad foreskin departed just below the cockhead, a throbbing pulse encircled the sensitive skin inside the young human’s arse. One thrust further until the cockhead teasingly brushed against a bundle of nerves. The intense wave of pleasure that raced through him made Phichit assume that the chair had found his prostate. The tassels around Phichit’s balls tightened their hold and rubbed along the base of the younger human’s cock.

“More,” Phichit squirmed letting out a moan, and his thighs strained against the bonds which remained firmly ensnared around them. The wet leathery cockhead probed against him, but he couldn't quite get the leverage to penetrate himself further on the chair’s cock. 

“Come  _ on _ ,” Phichit tried to sound commanding but it came out more like a plea. 

“Please fuck me! Fuck me hard! Don’t hold back!” Phichit pleaded. 

*Very well, little human. I’ll show you how good I can be,* the chair puffed in pride as its leathery cock increased its steady thrusts inside and painstakingly slow on its way out of the exposed arsehole. Slick with the bodily fluids of the previous owners. 

The burgundy chair could be patient and simply allowed its cock to throb at the edge of the younger human’s moistened entrance before thrusting up in one clean stroke, seating itself fully inside Phichit. The seat’s leather was flat and moist against Phichit’s bum. The heated leather fits along the sultry curves of the hot and bothered figure skater. 

 

In the neighbouring room, there was a put off older salesman in desperate need of sleep. He had an early flight the very next morning.

A moan penetrated the thin hotel wall, high-pitched and desperate. A curious creaking sound picked up as the moans grew louder. Like a chair straining under an over excited occupant. 

The businessman shifted uncomfortably on his bed, as the words  **_‘yes, fuck me harder’_ ** came through particularly loudly. That was definitely a young man’s voice, going by the way he groaned. 

_ Damn, just my type. _

The businessman closed his eyes, letting one hand trail down into his sleep pants. 

 

Phichit writhed as the chair pounded into him, the tassels tightening around his poor, neglected cock. As a gentle slither of precum escaped its confines from the tanned figure-skater’s cock, the golden tassel coiled around the cock with nudging thrusts against the aroused skin. The gold-threaded ends of the tassel curled around the leaking cockhead, imitating what one might expect from a teasing human finger, and rubbing sensual circles around the moistened edge. 

Phichit’s body quivered with the repeated waves of pleasure that snaked its way along his body. Hot, salty cum splattered Phichit’s chest, some of it pooling onto the leather upholstery. The chair thrummed in appreciation as the salty cum and sweat slicked into the seat. Phichit didn’t know this, but his cum was already being saved for posterity. 

*Such a good human boy,* the chair praised thoughtfully as it allowed the golden tassels to pat the top of the black haired boy’s head. A trickle of the Thai skater’s cum was smeared into the thick back strands of his hair.

His ears picked up a fairly loud moan coming from the neighbouring room. The heat of a scarlet blush crawled up his cheeks. The neighbours had heard him! 

“Oh. My. God. How can I walk out of this hotel room after this?” Phichit moaned with embarrassment, as his chest heaved with the after effects of his orgasm. It was, however, hard to stay mortified when he had just had the best orgasm of his life.

“You know,” Phichit muttered between heaving breaths, “people always told me my first time would suck, but this was pretty decent.”

The chair seemed to huff in indignation, and Phichit hurriedly climbed out of the chair before it got any more good ideas. 

When Phichit cast one wary glance back at the chair, all he could see was the same chair he had won at the auction. Only now it was the burgundy hues of the leather. No restraints, no elongated golden tassels to tease him, not even so much as a smear of cum remained. A faint remaining shudder ran down the Thai skater’s spine, and the light chill of the hotel room brushed against his arse. 

“Either I’m going mental, or something is not normal about that chair… though I suppose it’s still a pretty good wedding present.”

Light reflecting off metal caught his eye, and Phichit bent down carefully to see a bronze plaque artfully fastened the back of the chair. It read:

Handcrafted by Giacometti, 1991.  _ Chris.  _

“The magic sex chair has a name,” Phichit muttered, getting to his feet to stare at the chair. “And of course it’s named Chris.”

Phichit grinned to himself and rubbed his hands together. “Viktor and Yuuri are going to have so much fun with this.”


End file.
